RESURRECTION

"For her, I would carry the cross to my own crucifixion if it would make her have more faith in me. & I could hang from that cross and you could pierce my side with a spear & I would just bleed more reasons to love her. & I could die on that cross & you could bury me in a tomb and I would rise on the 23rd hour just to prove that I could not live a day without her. & I would go toe to toe with eternity for the rights to her next lifetime cause I was the only one made for her. & some may question the love that we share but it only makes me question their faith. so I ask you. what else do I have to prove?"

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

DOWN ON BENDED KNEE

Darlin' I can't explain
Where did we lose our way
Girl it's drivin' me insane
And I know I just need one more chance
To prove my love to you
If you come back to me
I'll guarantee
That I'll never let you go

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight
I know I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

Gonna swallow my pride
Say I'm sorry
Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me
I want a new life
And I want it with you
If you feel the same
Don't ever let it go
You gotta believe in the spirit of love
It can heal all things
We won't hurt any more
No I don't believe our love's terminal
I'm down on my knees begging you please
Come home

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Wanna build a new life
Just you and me
Gonna make you my wife
Raise a family

Please, BELIEVE. . . . .

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

Put It All Together

What I'm trying to say is, the heart has reason that reasons do not understand, and I know this love we have is difficult but this love that we have is so real. So I'm not telling you that this will be easy, but I am telling you that it will be worth it because I really do love you and only you Emma! BELIEVE. . .

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!

Today Today Todaaaaay is a very very VERY Special Daaaaay!!! It is the day Emma was born! Whooop Whooop! I Love You Emmi!!!! So so much! It's your *Star Birthday* and I hope it's a great day for you! I'm sorry I'm not able to spend it with you but even still I hope you enjoy your day with your family and close friends! May you have many many more to come and may we be able to share them together for the next 100yrs! lol I love you Emma, you are such a beautiful woman and God is most definitely missing and angel! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE! :-)

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

I MISS YOU

I don't look as cute as he does but I miss you much more. I love you Emma!

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

RING POP LOVE

Dedicated to you Emma. I know how much you like candy lol

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

AND THESE ARE MY RANDOM LOVE THOUGHTS

I hate looking back at things and wondering why I was like that or why i did what i did. Life is such a crazy thing. Very confusing and difficult to understand. Especially when things don't turn out the way you want. If you fail at one thing does that mean it wasn't meant to be? Or does that mean you are just learning to be strong and not just accept things but have the courage and power to change them. It does not compare or come close to my situation, but along the lines of giving up what if Jordan gave up when he didn't make he high school basketball team. He could've easily stopped and said it wasn't mean to be. But he didn't except that and he worked harder. I'd be lying if I said that they're weren't times were I felt like giving up.When my hearts had enough I just hang on and go harder. Am I just a fool in love? Love is such a powerful thing when its real. They say distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there.

There are many lessons in life that only time can teach you. like how much you love someone. It's nearly impossible to know that until you spend your days without them. And then there are those lessons that you can learn only through the beating of your heart, and through feeling such strong emotions that you can barely breathe. Then finally the essence of time and power of your heart crossing paths, and the knowledge you're left with is the realization that time is the one thins that keeps you from letting go. When you truly realize and know that you want to spend all of your time with that person because you love them no matter what. The embracing, the kisses, the laughter, the tears, the heartache is all love.... What I have with her is worth it. It's worth every lonely night. Every tear I cry from missing her and the heart ache and pain I feel from not having her close. It is worth it because she is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now I see only her. No matter how painful distance can be, not having her in my life would be worse. I love you Emma....

TO BE CONTINUED>>>

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

DON'T LEAVE, DON'T GO

DON’T LEAVE!

Cause you’re my oxygen without you i WON’T-BREATHE

You're everything that i WANT-NEED

for you I wear my heart on a SHORT-SLEEVE

I know some things need changing

That takes time we need MORE-PLEASE

I ain’t do everything I could’ve done

& shit that I did ain’t good enough

Your friends said they been would’ve left

Aint do you right, So you head to the left

I can’t say that I blame you

I never thought that it would be this painful

People do it everyday, I can change too

but dealing with the heartbreaks what you can’t do (true)

Apologize till I turn blue

And every 3rd of the month just know I think of you

DON’T GO!

How to live my life without you I just DON’T-KNOW

Without you in my life

I be SO-LO

I say I love you, say it DON’T-SHOW

Fuck the money and them gifts don’t count

What about the smaller things you needed

and why the fuck I made you leave before we seen it

Damn, I need your love like I breathe it

Being without you like Kelly no Regis

I keep secrets

I couldn't apologize enough times for messing with that sleaze BITCH!

But I could still tell that your leaving

and like I said I can’t blame you the lease bit

If you could just see that I love you

I'll always love you, place no one above you

You shot a arrow through my heart

I blacked out passed out

Woke up then threw

Damn it's really love

The current shame is, the times changing

Best friends become strangers

Don't let us go

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

L-O-V-E

Follow your heart not your mind. Your heart will scream out to you the one you need and you know you hear it, because the one your heart is screaming is the same person that no matter if you are happy, full of love, irritated, annoyed, or just mad at...you know that everyday your going to think about them and every night before you go to sleep it's that persons name that pops up...

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

LOVE, LOVE.

Sometimes tears say all they need to say

I have and still cry tears for the horrible mistakes n choices I've made.

Wish I would feel the pain of a broken heart?

Well it's broken...

Want to hang me high?

Well I'm choked...

Want it to rain on me?

Well I'm more than soaked...

The old me is forever gone

All my ghosts are gone

They say I will do nothing but hurt and neglect you again

That I can't be trusted and to never take me back

I let them say what the want to

I made promises to you that I can and will keep

I was just a young immature girl before

I'm a woman now

& I will do everything that I can

To prove to you that I am a better person

Back in the days I would've been your #1 pick

But now I've broken your heart and that's hard to fix

My whole mentality has changed

& I know that I will never be the same

I will love you better

Let me show you what I mean

I want you back in my life and I promise I will do it right

Please trust me

From the bottom of my heart

Nothing will ever pull me apart

Let's cry together, and

God willing spend our lives together

"Where do we go from here, with all this fear in our eyes?

We've been so far down, but we can still touch the sky!

Lend me one more chance..."

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

EMMA I LOVE YOU

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal. . . . I'm Sorry

I'M YOURS

My body isn't perfect

I don't walk with all the confidence

Yeah I'd rather be with you or by myself then out partying

I cry over the smallest things

There are days that I get through with forced smiles and fake laughs

Sometimes I try and convince myself that things are okay when they're not

I'm not ugly

I'm not beautiful

I have nights where I cry myself to sleep

I've made the worse decisions of my life that lead to your heart ache

I have learned from my mistakes

I'm constantly learning, growing and making changes for the better

I don't have the softest touch

My communication skills need work

My edges may be rough

I don't always fit in

I don't have the greatest track record

I may not be the smartest person in the world

But I know what real love is

And I truly love you Emma

I may not be perfect

But I'm all yours

I'm so sorry

I really love you

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless! - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

I'M SORRY EMMA. . . .

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless. -Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal

NEW LIFE

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EMMA, I LOVE YOU. I don't need a specified day to tell you that I love you because I try to tell you and show you how much I do love you everyday. Still, I am sorry for what I did and the situation I put us in and that we aren't able to spend Valentines Day together. I do want you to know that I am sorry and I will continue to try and prove to you that I am, that I am trustworthy, I am committed to you and that I will never hurt you again. I really am truly in love with you and will do whatever it takes. I know you trusted me with your heart and I ripped it apart and I am sorry that I did. I am more that positive that that will never ever happen again. I want to be there to help you through the healing process and repair your heart. I tried to show that in the drawing below. It's a thread n needle sewing up a heart with the words "new life" on the sides. It's to symbolize that I want to help put your heart back together and have a new beginning. I know it will take some time and a lot of hard work but I don't care how long or what it takes. I really am sorry and I really really love you Emma.

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless. -Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal

THOUGHTS FLOATING IN MY MIND, NO SAIL... AHOY!

I am sorry

I love

I hate

I help

I hurt

I smile

I cry

I let be

I judge

I blame

I'm humble

I make mistakes

I make bad choices

I forgive

I give 2nd chances

I envy

I'm selfish

I'm selfless

. . .I'm human

In spite of my mistakes and bad choices in the past I know I am a good person and really good at heart. All I want is everyone to see the best in me despite those bad choices I've made in my past, but it is because of my past that people only see the worst in me. That needs to change just like I have. I admit to my mistakes and take the blame (as I should) for my actions. Although they don't have rehab centers for being an asshole like I was, I have been and am still constantly changing and growing. Learning with every step taken. Not knowing what's to come or what may be, but knowing that only I can fulfill my dreams. Only I can figure the path that is best and will lead me to a higher place.

Everyone has that point and time in life where you finally find yourself. When you finally know who you are and what you want and who you want to be with. When you become mature and finally realize all the things the people tried to warn you about since you were a child. The time in life where it finally hits you. Some get to that point early and others later on in life. Some listen and learn from others mistakes and some just don't understand until they go through it themselves. And when you finally get to that point, some will do anything and everything they can to be who they know they are, get accomplished what they want and be with who they know they want to share life with. Others will confine their own happiness for the approval or happiness of others, then try to make themselves believe they can be happy with something else. Worried about how people will perceive them instead of doing what they know will make them happy.

But everyone is different. One thing that may be for sure is that when you do go through that time in life whenever it may be. When you stop living for others and stop just living in that moment and living just to fit it in or to be popular. When you stop sacrificing your own happiness to be accepted by people who could care less about you. When you go where you are celebrated not tolerated and notice the people who were never there before but suddenly have a great interest in your life and vice versa. When that change finally comes, it will be a good change that you will be happy with in the long run. A change that you made for you and for your life and not for anyone else's because no one can live your life but you. Still people will look down upon you and say you've changed in a bad way. They'll say you are changing who you are and becoming someone different when you're not. You just stopped living your life their way and finally standing up for who you really are.

I am being looked down upon now because of my mistakes in the past which is understandable being that we are all human and it is easy to point the finger. I admit to my mistake and stand strong knowing that I am a good person and I have changed for the better. Knowing what I want out of life and who I want to share it with. Knowing I will do anything to reach my dreams. I Tiffany, am in love with Emma. I always will be no matter what. My love for her is unconditional because I believe that you should either be or don't be. There's no middle ground so it leaves no room for confusion. I love her and always will, period. I will do everything in my power to show her that I do, that I'm sorry and that I have changed. In the face of true love you don't give up. I know this will be hard because it's already hard to wait around for something I know there's a possibility that it might never happen. It's even harder to give up when I know it's everything and the only thing not that I'll ever want and need but her also. Everyone should realize that a dream isn't just a dream, but its something that only you know and only you can make a reality. She is my cinderella, my dream only fits one size. My dream is going to be the hardest thing i'll probably have to face in my life but I don't think it's impossible. Okay I think I did enough yapping for today. Just had some things on my mind that I needed to let out. Bottom line I'm not giving up. Love never fails and the world is filled with infinite possibilities, go out and make them your own. I Love You Emma. I'm Sorry...

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless. -Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal

IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

There's a very nice quote that says "music speaks what can not be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul." The song below is such a beautiful and powerful song and it's as if the lyrics where taken right out of my mouth n heart and put over a beautiful melody. This song was sung so beautiful and passionate and expresses the way I feel inside. I want to dedicate it to you Emma. I'm in love with you!

ERYKAH BADU FEAT. STEPHEN MARLEY - IN LOVE WITH YOU

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless. - Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal

LOVE THROUGH IT ALL (POETRY)

See I love the Lord

but sometimes its like

I love her more

I love the seas

and I love the shore

but no love for no beach

baby that’s law

i trip, i fall

so we fell apart

please have sympathy

and forgive my young history

I swear I love her with all my heart

every vein, every vessel

every bullet logged

with every flower that I ever took apart

placement above all others

I will give you greatness

eyes glow green with the logo of our dreams

love, the purpose of our scene

she would be my queen

I, a female version of her king

together

we would be too cool

and we would both rule

forever

and she would never feel pain

and never be without happiness

ever, again

and if the rain stops

and everything’s dry

I will cry

just so she can drink the tears from my eyes

I will teach her how to fly

n if her engine ever stalls

and she plummet from the sky

I’ll cushion her fall

but I will keep her high

so began our reign

the Trinity, her and I came

no weather man, could ever stand

what her and I can

umbrellas, whatever

put plywood on propeller planes

then pray to God the the floods subside

cause you will need a sub

till he does reply

Can you feel it?

Do I love her?

the likes of which you have never seen

and if she ever die

I’d retire as well

a match made in Heaven

set the fires in hell

Thanks for reading & God Bless -Tiffany

.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal

WHY I CREATED THIS BLOG

So as I have stated in my about this blog section, I created this blog for a girl named Emma. We had been in an amazing relationship for almost 2-years until I went and did the worst things I could ever do. I cheated. I lost the one thing that made her fall in love with me in the first place and that's me. I lost myself and who I really am. I started hanging around the wrong people and allowing others to manipulate me and do things that are completely against my morals and lifestyle. Now by no means am I blaming what I did on anyone else or making any excuses. It is all my fault and I take full responsibility for what I have done. I became such a mean, selfish, immature person. I became a monster. I hate that I allowed myself to have done such a thing. I lost respect for myself but most importantly for Emma and our relationship. This is a very big deal, being that we both planned to spend the rest of our lives together. I fucked up big time. I lied and cheated and broke her wonderful heart along with my own. I caused tremendous amounts of pain and damage. I jeopardized our family and the great future we had ahead of us. I brought shame and embarrassment to not only myself but to my entire family because I was not raised in that way and was taught so much better than that.

Over the past months I have worked on not only getting who I am back but making that me better. God has forgiven me for what I have done and I have definitely learned from my bad choices. I have matured, changed and continue to take the necessary steps to progress as a better person everyday. I created this blog because I want to put it all out in the open and put my heart out there. I'm not afraid to tell the world who I'm in love with. I'm not afraid to say that I fucked up and I want to prove that I have grown and learned from my horrible choices. I want to prove that I really do have true deep regret & remorse for what I did & I really do love Emma. Even though I know it is tremendously difficult I ask her and her family for forgiveness. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get some form of restitution to rebuild our friendship, relationship, and her trust for me. I know that I have changed for the better and will never allow myself to let anything happen like that ever again but I need to prove that to her and her family and friends. I want to gain the chance to get that one last chance. I really am sorry and I apologize a bazillion times.

Now as sweet and cliche as all this sounds, this will not be an easy take AT ALL! This will be the most important and hardest battle of my life but I'm not going into this war to win a purple heart. I'm doing it because I really do love Emma. All I ever wanted was a single thing worth fighting for and I have found it. Emma and our relationship is something that was truly incredible and something that people spend their entire lives trying to find and some die never getting the chance to find it. My fight is indefatigable and I will be persistent until I prove to her and the world that I really love her and will never hurt her ever again. I always here a lot of people say the rule is "once a cheater always a cheater" but I'm here to prove all those people wrong and to show everyone that I am thee exception to that rule! If it's one in a million then I am that one! To help others believe in second chances because I know that's all I need to prove these things. People make horrible mistakes in life and some people really are sorry and really do change. It's those that say they will change and continue to carry out those same behaviors that give people like me a bad name. I'm here to stand in my own lane and show everyone that I'm nothing like the rest. Yes I did lie & cheat in the past but I have changed. I am sorry. I will never do it again. I am trustworthy and loyal and committed. I really do love Emma and will do whatever it takes to prove all things to her, her family, her friends, and the world! I want to spend the rest of my life with Emma. In spite of all opposition, obstacles & judgments I will encounter, I will prove those who doubt me wrong. I am a changed woman.

But why a blog?... Now don't get me wrong, I know it's going to take more than just a blog to prove my love to Emma and prove that I have changed. Which is why this is not the only thing I am doing or have done to prove so. This is just one of the many. Anyway, I chose to create this blog in addition to different things because not only does it help prove that I'm not trying to hide my love for her and I'm taking responsibility, admitting my mistakes and things like that but while doing so will also help keep me sane and continue to progress as a better person. I have gotten rid of a lot of negative and just plain no good people in my life which has left me with pretty much no one. LOL There are times where I get down and things get rough and I have bad days. There's nothing worse that getting stuck inside my own head in loops of self-defeating thoughts. When I blog I react to things on a personal level and I get to write it down and release which is so much healthier than holding it all in. If I isolate myself when I am feeling down I might find myself thinking no one else could be as unfortunate as me and comparing myself to all sorts of unrealistic things and could easily become convinced that life isn't worth living. Instead I will write down things about Emma and my life and my values issues and concerns until I am understood and I prove my love and that I have changed. Blogging helps me pay closer attention to the world around me, live in the present and relish in the life lessons. It helps to stop just going through the motions and living life on auto pilot. Instead getting fully engaged in everything that happens and take control of my life and make the right choices and decisions.

Also this blog is my way of proving that the things I am saying are true by holding myself accountable and letting others do the same. When I announce to the world that I am really sorry and I am in love with Emma and have truly changed and will do all things necessary to prove it and never ever give up, I don't ever want to write about how I have failed or gave up or anything like that. Maybe people will start to see my change and start believing in me and become a supporter of my journey to proving my love for Emma. This blog is my own self therapy but most importantly a way to prove my growth and change and true love for Emma. It will be everything and anything to do with her. No special additives, preservatives or artificial flavors to spice it up and make it seem like I'm someone I'm not. It's just me being real and honest and true and coming from the heart to show my 100% pure love for Emma. That's why I named it "Organic Love." I Love You Emma!


Thanks for reading & God Bless -Tiffany
.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal