Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I am sorry
I love
I hate
I help
I hurt
I smile
I cry
I let be
I judge
I blame
I'm humble
I make mistakes
I make bad choices
I forgive
I give 2nd chances
I envy
I'm selfish
I'm selfless
. . .I'm human

In spite of my mistakes and bad choices in the past I know I am a good person and really good at heart. All I want is everyone to see the best in me despite those bad choices I've made in my past, but it is because of my past that people only see the worst in me. That needs to change just like I have. I admit to my mistakes and take the blame (as I should) for my actions. Although they don't have rehab centers for being an asshole like I was, I have been and am still constantly changing and growing. Learning with every step taken. Not knowing what's to come or what may be, but knowing that only I can fulfill my dreams. Only I can figure the path that is best and will lead me to a higher place.

Everyone has that point and time in life where you finally find yourself. When you finally know who you are and what you want and who you want to be with. When you become mature and finally realize all the things the people tried to warn you about since you were a child. The time in life where it finally hits you. Some get to that point early and others later on in life. Some listen and learn from others mistakes and some just don't understand until they go through it themselves. And when you finally get to that point, some will do anything and everything they can to be who they know they are, get accomplished what they want and be with who they know they want to share life with. Others will confine their own happiness for the approval or happiness of others, then try to make themselves believe they can be happy with something else. Worried about how people will perceive them instead of doing what they know will make them happy.

But everyone is different. One thing that may be for sure is that when you do go through that time in life whenever it may be. When you stop living for others and stop just living in that moment and living just to fit it in or to be popular. When you stop sacrificing your own happiness to be accepted by people who could care less about you. When you go where you are celebrated not tolerated and notice the people who were never there before but suddenly have a great interest in your life and vice versa. When that change finally comes, it will be a good change that you will be happy with in the long run. A change that you made for you and for your life and not for anyone else's because no one can live your life but you. Still people will look down upon you and say you've changed in a bad way. They'll say you are changing who you are and becoming someone different when you're not. You just stopped living your life their way and finally standing up for who you really are.

I am being looked down upon now because of my mistakes in the past which is understandable being that we are all human and it is easy to point the finger. I admit to my mistake and stand strong knowing that I am a good person and I have changed for the better. Knowing what I want out of life and who I want to share it with. Knowing I will do anything to reach my dreams. I Tiffany, am in love with Emma. I always will be no matter what. My love for her is unconditional because I believe that you should either be or don't be. There's no middle ground so it leaves no room for confusion. I love her and always will, period. I will do everything in my power to show her that I do, that I'm sorry and that I have changed. In the face of true love you don't give up. I know this will be hard because it's already hard to wait around for something I know there's a possibility that it might never happen. It's even harder to give up when I know it's everything and the only thing not that I'll ever want and need but her also. Everyone should realize that a dream isn't just a dream, but its something that only you know and only you can make a reality. She is my cinderella, my dream only fits one size. My dream is going to be the hardest thing i'll probably have to face in my life but I don't think it's impossible. Okay I think I did enough yapping for today. Just had some things on my mind that I needed to let out. Bottom line I'm not giving up. Love never fails and the world is filled with infinite possibilities, go out and make them your own. I Love You Emma. I'm Sorry...

Thank You for reading. Peace & God Bless. -Tiffany
.::E&T FOREVER::. 143Emma/ForeverLoyal


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